I've never done this on the internet before, or to anyone off the internet. Just coming clean. Releasing all those small and tightly knotted worries which seem so big and difficult to tackle in your head. To free them one by one i'll list them in bullet points.
So today hasn't been a good day, not just for me but for my whole family. We're like a fully functioning body, when one body part feels pain the rest absorb that pain until it has reached every tip and tether.

• My dad is sick and is living all by himself in Quetta. A lone man in his mid fifties, working tirelessly for hours, in a desolate and ill-wishing town, comes home sick, to find what? nothing but empty spaces that were once filled by us. I wanna run home to him but my finals result is a week away. We have to wait here till it comes. 
• My mom is sick too. But I'm glad she's with us yet she's so faraway as she misses dad the most. Tonight i went with her for her weekly dose of injections. Hospitals already made me so uncomfortable and now when I saw my mother wincing in pain as the needle passed through her skin, I wanted to run outside and never return. We went to eat icecream afterwards as the injections make her feeble and nausea starts to fill up. 
• After that, when I came home my sister pointed out that a certain T.V show was airing right now on HBO. It was none other than the clearly forbidden 'Game Of Thrones'. Our protective brother has vented many times on how he doesn't find this show, well suited for us, so he has banned it for the rest of our dependent lives. But the opportunity was laid out before us, to test it's rating ourselves we sat down to watch it. To further advocate our decision, i would like to point out that HBO is the pakistani one which is obviously censored. But just then our brother came and well caught us red handed. I ran to the bedroom leaving my sister apalled. She came running after me after a few seconds. And then appeared my hot headed brother through the doorway who said in his demanding voice 'Tum log GAME OF THRONES dekh rahay thay?' My sister said 'Haan likin vo HBO par araha tha..' quite sheepishly. i stayed quite. he looked at us with his fiery eyes and an expression that you can often encounter when you snatch a candy from a toddler. with that strange stare he went back.
• My sister was mad at me for not saying anything or for switching the channel. 
• I'm sooooo worried about my result.

and this is the point where i lose it. I'm just glad i shared my feelings for the first time, don't care if someone reads it or not.

photoshoot of a tiny yet significant flower

Readers!

or people who only stay at my blog for a second and regret they ever came on my blog, COMMENT! I don't bite you know. mostly.

Subhanallah

Yesterday, on my father's wish, we all went to the Manora Beach located just a few miles away from Karachi.
When I say 'we' I say that regarding my whole family including my cousins, my aunt and my uncle.
This was another one of our picnics, unplanned and extremely fun. In Quetta, our favorite and only picnic spot was Askari Park. Each saturday we packed huge amounts of food in baskets and joyfully went to the park, singing our favorite songs like 'One Way Ticket' and planning on which rides to spend our money on.
But slowly, those weekly trips ended as Askari Park's policy of only allowing families through had been stopped. It began to look nothing more than a waste land. And we had grown, we weren't those children anymore who craved to try out all the rides in the park. in one day, atleast i was but my siblings weren't.
So we switched to Hanna Lake/Urak as our picnic spot to perform the rituals of eating biryani and hiking mountains and shouting loudly when we reach the top.
But this ceremonious exodus to the ragged mountains of Quetta ended when me and my family shifted to Karachi.
So this was the first time we had a picnic in Karachi. The sea was calm and peaceful in the afternoon but shook and raged as the sun went down. As we were making our way back to Port Qasim on our rented motor boat, I saw the towering, illuminated ships, a thousand glittering lights outlined the ships. I admired at the size of the ships and thought how man had come so far. The magnificent creations man had brought into reality.
But then I was riveted towards the sea. My eyes gleamed with awe. I couldn't believe how I didn't realize it's beauty before. It was unbelievable how a wast pool of water could make me feel this way. The sea glowed under the moonlight, it resembled mercury and looked as if it was alive and made me feel alive too.

It might seem that I'm exaggerating but I'm not. Infact I'm short of words right now.

It was then when I realized that man-made marvels can NEVER be compared with Allah's creations.