I've never done this on the internet before, or to anyone off the internet. Just coming clean. Releasing all those small and tightly knotted worries which seem so big and difficult to tackle in your head. To free them one by one i'll list them in bullet points.
So today hasn't been a good day, not just for me but for my whole family. We're like a fully functioning body, when one body part feels pain the rest absorb that pain until it has reached every tip and tether.

• My dad is sick and is living all by himself in Quetta. A lone man in his mid fifties, working tirelessly for hours, in a desolate and ill-wishing town, comes home sick, to find what? nothing but empty spaces that were once filled by us. I wanna run home to him but my finals result is a week away. We have to wait here till it comes. 
• My mom is sick too. But I'm glad she's with us yet she's so faraway as she misses dad the most. Tonight i went with her for her weekly dose of injections. Hospitals already made me so uncomfortable and now when I saw my mother wincing in pain as the needle passed through her skin, I wanted to run outside and never return. We went to eat icecream afterwards as the injections make her feeble and nausea starts to fill up. 
• After that, when I came home my sister pointed out that a certain T.V show was airing right now on HBO. It was none other than the clearly forbidden 'Game Of Thrones'. Our protective brother has vented many times on how he doesn't find this show, well suited for us, so he has banned it for the rest of our dependent lives. But the opportunity was laid out before us, to test it's rating ourselves we sat down to watch it. To further advocate our decision, i would like to point out that HBO is the pakistani one which is obviously censored. But just then our brother came and well caught us red handed. I ran to the bedroom leaving my sister apalled. She came running after me after a few seconds. And then appeared my hot headed brother through the doorway who said in his demanding voice 'Tum log GAME OF THRONES dekh rahay thay?' My sister said 'Haan likin vo HBO par araha tha..' quite sheepishly. i stayed quite. he looked at us with his fiery eyes and an expression that you can often encounter when you snatch a candy from a toddler. with that strange stare he went back.
• My sister was mad at me for not saying anything or for switching the channel. 
• I'm sooooo worried about my result.

and this is the point where i lose it. I'm just glad i shared my feelings for the first time, don't care if someone reads it or not.